Kelly’s Unnecessary Blog

How would my life look through the eyes of a mouse? There are a surprising number of things to see.

Obvious

I have cats. Several of their toys are in a pleasing mouse shape. Some are filled with catnip, some crinkle, and some have wheels.

I am a graphic designer, therefore I sit at a computer all day using a mouse. Both at home and at the office, I have ancient Microsoft mice, because those are the ones that are ergonomic for me. They’re basically the same, but the one at the office is a little beefier. My boss affectionately refers to it as the rat. For home, I saved $10 or $15 and got the less steroidal version.

Clichés

Although I am quite prodigious in my online posts of status updates and photos and social community participation, in person I don’t always say a lot. Sometimes I am quiet as a mouse.

I also don’t like confrontation—who does? If an issue needs to be addressed I’ll do that, because it’s something that should be taken care of. If it’s walking up to a stranger in a social setting, quite often the very notion of introducing myself terrifies me. You could say I’m timid as a mouse. You can at least say that I am not a shmoozer.

I have to go to work every day. I never feel caught up. I never have enough money. I have personal-life issues. It’s one big rat race.

I do love cheese. I guess it’s not so much a cliché as a mouse stereotype. My current favorite is pepperjack (Monterey Jack with flecks of hot peppers interspersed, for you European purists). I also like cheddar of any persuasion, mozzarella, Asiago and Parmesan, Gouda, brie, and hard and soft goat cheese. I don’t like bleu cheeses at all. Well, that’s not 100% true. I will tolerate a really generic bleu cheese salad dressing if it’s accompanying spicy barbecue chicken wings. That’s the only circumstance.

Cartoon mice

My two favorite cartoons are mice. No, not Mickey and Minnie. I’m talking about real mice—Danger Mouse, and the Brain (okay, Pinky was an accomplished foil). You heard me—Danger Mouse. I have the complete DVD collection. Still so, so funny. I think my favorite is when the washing machines tried to take over. Since I’ve become more of a James Bond fan, Danger Mouse is even better. And, don’t try to tell me it’s just a coincidence that Austin Powers’ middle name is Danger.

Music-related

The artist Stanley Mouse (along with partner Alton Kelley) illustrated the covers for three of my all-time favorite albums: “Infinity” and “Evolution” from Journey, and “Book of Dreams” by the Steve Miller Band. Yes, I know Mouse also did Grateful Dead covers, but I’m not a fan of the Dead so I don’t care.

I like the band Modest Mouse well enough when I hear them. Also, I know there is the producer Danger Mouse. I wouldn’t know his style from anybody else’s, but I guess he works with Gnarls Barkley and I like them just fine.

Cultural icon

Again, I am not talking about Mickey. I understand Mickey’s place in world cultural history, but as with the Grateful Dead I’m not a particular fan or non-fan. This time I’m talking about—drum roll please—Rat Fink. In fact, Rat Fink was created by Ed Roth to be the antithesis to Mickey. The photo above is of my actual Rat Fink, snapped only moments ago. I still have him, though he would be more valuable as a ‘70s collectible if I hadn’t eaten half his tail (I chew my fingernails, too, so what?), and nibbled the tops of his ears and then trimmed them with a nail clippers (yes, I remember that I did that).

Personal details

I first started coloring my hair 14 years ago because it was really long and I wanted to do something different but I didn’t want to cut it. After that first color grew out and I could see the true shade again, I realized just how mousy it was. The fact that I was starting to get grey hairs didn’t help either.

My cat Dasie’s nickname is Squeaky due to the sound she makes when I squeeze her. She has since revealed herself to have a quite nice voice when she sits on the toilet seat and meows at me while I’m in the shower. She is fascinated by the running water and three days ago I was sure she was going to jump in with me. Her front feet were halfway down the side but she chickened out.

Last and least, my car is a nondescript mousy grey.