Kelly’s Unnecessary Blog

When did I become dependent on coffee? For the longest time ever, I’d just have my decaf in the morning. Maybe twice a month, I’d dare to have a cup of regular in the afternoon. I was so staunchly decaf that I bought my own little four-cup coffee maker for the office so that my decaf-making wouldn’t interfere with the regular in the big pot. I used to tell people that it would self-destruct if it came in contact with caffeine.

Now it’s me who sets myself up every week to self-destruct with regular coffee. I have swung completely in the opposite direction.

If I manage to behave myself, I only have half-caf in the morning. But a lot of the time it’s a couple of cups of the full octane joe. And in the afternoons I don’t even try to be reserved. I like the post-lunch pick-me-up of my two, sometimes three, mugs of regular. And then I wonder why I don’t feel like going to bed earlier at night.

By the end of the week, my need for speed rears its ugly head earlier and earlier. By mid-morning on Thursday and Friday I get that caffeine headache that I know I’m easily prone to. And on the weekend I look forward to the major headache because I don’t usually make coffee at home. My routine is just different and doesn’t make me think of sitting and sipping. I suffer through it and resolve that next week I won’t give in.

I have known for ages that I quickly become “addicted” to caffeine and that’s why I was perfectly content with high-quality decaffeinated for years and years; I didn’t want to deal with the headaches. I hypothesize that as I stay at my position longer and longer (seventeen-year anniversary coming up next month) and the types of projects I work on become more and more routine, the little jolt I get from caffeine makes me cheerier on the job.
I guess I have come to accept the weekly withdrawal as a small price to pay for something that gives me enough pleasure during the week. I am weak.