Horoscope versus real life

June 10, 2010


Today I compared the predictions with real life. That I used the horoscope from The Onion should??give a clue as to my general attitude toward such things.

I am a Cancer. A moon child. That explains a lot.

I was originally going to use Yahoo???s horoscope because it???s right there on my homepage. I??looked both yesterday (in anticipation) and today (in practice). The daily predictions were thus:

???Friends in need aren’t anything new???you actually tend to attract them, and you don’t mind so??much. You send out subtle signals that let others know you’re the most trustworthy of friends. Right??now, in fact, those traits are amped up, so no matter who comes to you, even just for a quick hug,??you go above and beyond the call of duty. Don’t be surprised if you end up with a long-term friend.???

???You’re feeling especially chatty and friendly???which means you’re much more easily tempted than??usual to let a hot secret slide. If it’s your own and you don’t mind the world knowing, go for it???sharing a confidence can be a great way to bond. If it’s shared or someone else’s entirely, think??twice before you have at it. Why risk a current relationship to entice a new one????

Omigod, they???re almost true.??

Monday I learned that my downtown place where I work out is closing due to financial issues. I??was apparently one of only two or three members in whom the proprietress Pam confided extra??information. She was not merely trying to sell the business due to ???changes in personal??circumstances??? (the general notice to members) but because she is in arrears for rent and is being??evicted.

Yesterday, the first day of the horoscope, I shared with her that I had gone through personal??bankruptcy in 2004. That sort of opened the floodgates and I gathered that because of credit card??misuse due to na??vet??, she, too, is facing bankruptcy, though likely business rather than personal.??I???m usually the latest person working out, so there were no privacy concerns as we continued the??conversation after I was finished. I ended up giving her a hug that was appropriate but which??ended up being a little uncomfortably long. But she needed it, so that was okay. I don???t think we???ll??be friends after this chapter ends, but she???s been good to me in the fifteen months that I???ve been a??member.

Since Monday when I learned of the goings on, I had felt like I wanted to give Pam and Betty, the??other woman who I saw most often, parting mementos, but I had no idea what. What do you give??people who you see often and appreciate and maybe even feel affection for yet you don???t know too??intimately? When I got home last night, I spied the answer on my windowsill???two houseplant??babies that have been living in a jar for far too long that I hadn???t been in a hurry to pot because I??already have plenty.

Then I got all sappy and was thinking of the reasons why I???d give when I presented Pam and Betty??with the plants. You know, the clich??s like, now you???ll have the chance to experience a new??opportunity, this plant is a symbol of something new coming from something that???s ending, so on??and so forth. I wanted to say that they were simply small tokens of my gratitude and affection for a??healthy year and a quarter. But I said none of that, other than that I just wanted to do a little??something.

Today, I knew that Betty was opening so, not wishing to miss what might be my last opportunity to??see her, I left a message at my office saying I???d be a little late arriving because I had to make a stop??on the way in. I left both plants with Betty and she didn???t give much away, but I think she was??touched. When I got to to work, I told another Pam the whole story. While we weren???t exactly??bonding any more than we already have from working together for fifteen years, and there was??nothing at risk by my sharing one Pam???s story with the other Pam, it was interesting to note how??real life very loosely corresponded to the horoscope.

The story above is what I was going to relate for my comparison of horoscope versus real life.

Then I got sidetracked by the charm of The Onion‘s Scorpio horoscope for my friend Meghan: ???Everyone??wants to live forever, but in your case it would just mean more time being chased by an angry??swarm of bees.???

I found my own, for Cancer: ???The hounds of hell will be at your door this week, clawing furiously to??be let out and use the bathroom.??? At first I thought, that???s dumb. Then I realized that this week I am??working on revisions on a project for a client whose reasons for wanting the things they want I find??nearly impossible to understand, and how, because they???re a fairly new client, my boss instills the??utmost urgency in us for the things they need, like they???re going to pee their pants or something if??they don???t get it.




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