Me, right now
September 18, 2010
Take a photo of yourself right now! Even though I looked pretty rough, I regret that I censored (and deleted) my very first “right now” this morning. But I was embarrassed by the result of too much beer and too little sleep last night.
Instead you get my second, third, and fourth right nows. I came back to the camera after I had had my shower this morning and was feeling clean, if not a little fresher than half an hour earlier. I tried to get my cat CJ to join me but she was too busy buttering me up for her breakfast to pose nicely.
During the day, some people posted followup photos to their first ones, and in the seventh inning of the Minnesota Twins baseball game at Target Field tonight, I decided that would be the perfect scene for another shot. You can see that I and 40,000 of my closest friends are enjoying ourselves, despite the Twins’ subsequent loss to the Oakland A’s.
The weather was iffy today, and if there’s a chance it will rain, I park my bike at a nearby building under its overhang for shelter. (My office and Target Field are within a few blocks of each other so I just leave my bike where it is when I go to a game.) I guess because it’s a utility company they have good security, including a camera that monitors the front where the bike rack is. And something in its software motion detects and draws a red box around the mover. That’s me! I find it a little creepy that it can do that, but at the same time, sometimes I dance around a little just to see how the square changes size. I had snapped this picture to share my thoughts about it elsewhere, then couldn’t resist also sharing it with the other right nowers.
And now to bed so that I won’t have to be embarrassed two mornings in a row.
Inertia, part 3
September 16, 2010
Well, it’s been a little over ten months since I berated myself and bemoaned my apparent lack of motivation to accomplish my life’s big goal, moving to London, England. The Shubert Theater managed to get off its ass and begin restoration. Let’s take a look at how I’m doing.
As a result of making new friends in the Tweak Today community, some of whom live in London, I resolved during the winter that after I got my (U.S.) income tax refund in February or March, one of the things I’d do with the cash was book a trip across the pond.
Although I have previously lamented that in this down market, my mortgage traps me unless I want to take quite a hit in selling price, one positive is that the mortgage interest credit on my tax return provides for a sizable refund. Once a year, I clear up all my outstanding financial obligations (including paying my friend who floats me for Minnesota Twins baseball season tickets for the previous summer) and take my three pets in for checkups.
This year, I took care of myself first. I spent a lovely nine days in London the end of June beginning of July and hung out with my new friends. It was a good trip.They both live “in town” and I got a lot of time walking around on my own during the work day and going about the business of locals in the evenings. It gave me a good opportunity for a better-informed evaluation of how I might actually like living there. I was not dissuaded from my desires.
I figure it would still be at least a couple of years before I could make anything happen. The notion that I’ve had in my head since London won the 2012 Summer Olympics is that if I planned my arrival for soon thereafter, there might be ample more-reasonably priced living accommodations. On the other hand, if I somehow got myself there, you know, soon, maybe it would be easier for me to find a graphic design job or otherwise in the run-up.
It’s me. It will be later rather than sooner. And so far this entry is idle chat about my vacation, not a change in behavior.
What I have started doing is going through stuff around the house with an eye to downsizing before a cross-ocean move. Or because I simply have too much crap and I had houseguests. The casual observer would be hard-pressed to notice any difference, but I know the progress I made. A couple of my neighbors have much less stuff than I and have brought out the potential in their units. I want mine to be like that when I sell.
I did pass my 15-year anniversary at work and have no doubt that I’ll make it to 16 and beyond. Changing jobs wasn’t really the point of any of this, at least not until I’m looking for a job in London.
For a while I had been watching less television and doing more writing, reading, anything, but that bloom mostly faded. I still haven’t finished The Stuff of Thought, but I did manage to breeze through a romance novel in less than 24 hours this past weekend.
I don’t think there are obvious outward signs that my state of being is any different. About the best I can say is that I am quite certain that I’ll book another jaunt to London this winter when airfare is at its cheapest and I could accomplish the trip from a couple of paychecks rather than shooting my wad on high-season summer prices. I don’t need warm weather to have a good time.
On the indisputably positive side, a year and a half later I am still working out at Curves regularly. And, after the aforementioned ten months, still writing this blog.
The links, except the one about the Shubert, are all to previous blog entries which are related to one degree or another.
Tasty rainbow
August 17, 2010
I’m not going to go all unicorns and glitter on you, but Friday I was treated to the best rainbow I’ve ever seen. Not because it was double—I’ve seen triple—but because of its altitude and degrees.
My office suite is on an eleventh storey corner. We have pretty good sightlines. From my desk I look to the northwest which is now right across the bow of the Target Field, the new home of the Minnesota Twins baseball team. I can see the left field upper deck from where I sit. With every day game, it is rubbed in my face that I’m stuck at work and 44,000 other people aren’t.
Probably two or three times a day otherwise, I find myself standing at the kitchen window with looks northish over the fairly new Minneapolis Public Library Central Branch (which sports a green roof and is LEED certified), and toward the Mississippi River and iconic Grain Belt Brewery sign. Minneapolis’ Federal Reserve Bank is also in view. There is some interesting public art on its grounds.
But last Friday, it was Mother Nature who was in the spotlight. This has been a pretty hot, humid summer, and the latest stretch was approaching the end of its second week when the second of three quick-succession fronts rolled through.
Being downtown, we quite often don’t get the severe aspect of weather, but this summer we’ve definitely been getting the downpours. Friday we got another one. At one point in college I was a meteorology major. The weather still fascinates me. I look out five windows that look westish while sitting at my desk slaving away. I pay attention.
The cats and dogs had been falling for a good ten or fifteen minutes, but as with many summertime thunderstorms, the sun was poised to quickly follow on the heels of the line of clouds. I knew what was coming.
I stationed myself at the kitchen window and waited. The colored arc began to appear. I had my iPhone at the ready. I was rewarded.
People know I’m excitable anyway. So when I started shrieking “Rainbow! Rainbow!” they didn’t pay too much attention. When I modified it to, “Freaky rainbow! Come look at this! You won’t be sorry!” I got some results.
I figure there were two things at work. First as I said, we’re on the eleventh floor, higher up than my usual rainbow viewing vantage point. And second, I was watching the rain finishing, with the trailing 99% humidity. I was on the front line of rainbow formation, and I was expecting it.
But I wasn’t expecting what I was presented with.
What I first noticed was that the rainbow was low and close. So low and close that while the zenith of the arc was above the library, the ends went behind the corners of the library (look closely at the left-jutting cantilever). And when I followed the left end of the arc, it came around to the street in front of the building kitty corner to mine. It was a 135° degree rainbow. I wasn’t quite coordinated enough to get a photo of that. But other people saw it, too.
I completely understand that some of you looking at this photo are scoffing to yourself that this is just some Photoshop trickery. If I hadn’t witnessed it myself, I’d be skeptical of its authenticity, too.
I have witnesses. Also, take time to notice and appreciate the small things.
Sunglass badass
August 11, 2010
If I were a U.S. Marshall, this is what I’d look like—at least if I played one on USA Network. I only had these on for a couple of minutes (basically long enough to snap the photo), but for those two minutes I channeled my inner Mary Shannon and felt like a complete badass.
I’ve worn eyeglasses since I was seven and so just never got into the habit of wearing sunglasses. Even for the many years that I wore contact lenses I didn’t have an overly-developed need to put on the shades, though I did do my little part to support the industry. I suppose I could get prescription sunglasses but it has never seemed like even a low priority in my financial world.
This scene happened on my recent vacation in London. My friend Spiros suddenly suggested that he, our other friend Dan, and I try on each other’s glasses. Dan and I have eyeglasses, Spiros had sunglasses. I have quite poor vision and so Dan’s glasses didn’t help much and conversely, my Coke bottle prescription must have seemed dizzying. Not to mention the bifocals aspect.
When I put on the sunglasses I couldn’t see a thing. Not only was my vision uncorrected, it was uncorrected and darkened. But I wouldn’t have needed to see a thing because I suddenly looked like a badass. Anyone I encountered would just run from me in terror and it wouldn’t matter that I couldn’t actually see them—they wouldn’t know that. I’d just turn my face in the direction of the sound of their footsteps or voice, and maybe straighten my posture to a more menacing stature, and any would-be confronter would turn around and flee like a tiny bunny flashing the whitetail danger sign.
I am not a badass. I handed back the sunglasses and returned to the security of my -9.0 lenses.
A kernel of purpose
August 9, 2010
It was bound to happen eventually. It was finally going to be the blog entry in which I pondered the meaning of life (doing so without God’s aid, since I don’t believe in that*). And once again I am spared answering the bigger question.
I don’t know what the serious answer is to the bigger question. Maybe if I did, I’d feel more fulfilled in my life. There are probably several actions to take with outcomes to experience that would make me feel more fulfilled. But I continue to coast along not really seeking out anything through soul searching or other means.
Certainly there are things that give my life a drop of meaning in the small, immediate scope—the three wonderful creatures I live with, bowling, karaoke, my favorite beers, my online social life, my dab of a real social life. But I basically go to work, live paycheck to paycheck, and don’t push hard or at all for anything different.
Today I took it upon myself to be proactive with my neighbor cat Nick who is under my care for the upcoming week. This upcoming week we are also to have some of the hottest, most humid weather of the summer. Nick doesn’t have air conditioning. When I went up to his place to get the lowdown on his care, it was a hot day. It was miserable in his apartment.
So I brought Nick downstairs to mine. I have air conditioning and I’m not afraid to use it. Just ask the electric company. I weighed his physical comfort against the mental stress of being plopped into a strange environment that includes my two cats and rabbit. My conclusion was that while he may be used to being hot, he’s used to being hot when Ruth is there to monitor his health. I’m not there. I decided that I didn’t want to risk his expiring from heatstroke on my watch.
Okay so on the one hand I’m still being selfish because I don’t want the guilt from a dead cat. But I also genuinely don’t want him to be uncomfortable. I feel a little bit like my caretaking of Nick is giving me just a kernel more purpose for a few days. Nick seems to be appreciative.
I’ll take what I can get.
*No disrespect to those who believe in God. It’s just not for me.
Hopping mad (Lars vs. Rolf)
August 3, 2010
Today I was supposed to show a mad face. It wasn’t explicitly stated that it should be my own mad face, but I assumed the implication. My personal policy is to not get mad because it’s usually not worth it and it just wastes a lot of energy that could be put to better use, such as talking and trying to work it out.
So instead, I drew these two angry rabbits facing off. And actually, the stare-down didn’t begin until they were in Photoshop. I can only draw them facing to the left.
Who do you think will win? The three opinions that I know of (mine, @thedigitalghost’s, and @superc0w’s) pick Rolf (righty). Lars (lefty) looks more like he’s stubbornly standing his ground versus actually being angry. Rolf looks like he has issues. There is tension in his body language and you just know he will explode at any moment.
That’s why they each do different henchmen jobs for Tiny-bunny.
I’m not saying that I’m never upset by things. I am. I have my mother’s leave-no-thought-unspoken enthusiasm, but it’s tempered by my father’s don’t-worry-don’t-be-angry mellowness. If something doesn’t sit right with me, it will be known to the outside world. But I also have the ability to usually just let it go and not take it personally, at least not for long.
What do you really gain in the long run by being mad?
Ode to universe
July 29, 2010
It was bound to happen eventually. It was finally going to be the blog entry in which I pondered my place in the universe (doing so without God???s aid, since I don???t believe in that*). I have no idea what my purpose is as I don???t seem to be accomplishing much and don???t see my future to be very different. Nothing I could say would sound like much more than a pity party. If I really don???t like it that much, make a change. Or even find God. Whatever.
On my bike ride home from work, I had a could-have-been-death experience and the place-in-universe (PIU) question became more focused, at least for the seven minutes that followed which encompassed the rest of my ride home during which time there could have been two more incidents. It must have been my karma today. I started out this morning grumpy and spent most of the day trying to overcome. But I did, and by the time I set out for home, I was feeling pretty good about things.
Biking downtown is, of course, an adventure every time. Even though I have a designated, dedicated bike lane, motor vehicles just refuse to acknowledge it (and me) 95% of the time. Usually it???s just a car or, at worst, a pickup truck or SUV. Today it was an 18-wheeler.
The problem is that the bike lane is in the middle of the road, so vehicles wishing to turn left must do so by cutting across the bike lane. If I haven???t made eye contact in the outside mirror, I wait.
Such was the case today.
I was approaching the intersection, and about fifty feet from it, a truck-truck drew even with me, then pulled ahead at pace. He at least gets credit for signaling his intent. But I was unable to establish eye contact even though I could see his entire head in his rearview mirror. Then sure enough he blithely began his left turn.
I was nearly stopped and was patiently waiting until he finished his turn, thinking it was a short, delivery-type truck. Thank goodness I looked over my shoulder to discover that there was a semi-trailer being pulled directly toward my position. I put my foot down to wait, then realized that I???d better keep moving directly to the left or I???d be clipped and the driver would be none the wiser.
Finally when there was only three feet of trailer left to go did I finally make eye contact with the driver, who was probably actually looking to see if he thought he???d clear the city bus on the cross-street. Sheepish wave from him. Gosh, thanks. I was using stronger language at the time.
So my first question is to the truck driver: where did you think I went in the thirty feet from the time you overtook me to when you initiated your turn?
My second question is: in the big scheme of things???the UNIVERSAL scheme, not just the personal orbit of a few of you who claim to like me and enjoy my company???what lasting impact have I truly made on your life????truly????no, REALLY.
In the universal scheme of things, what difference would my not being here actually have on things going forward? I???m realistic about that.
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*No disrespect to those who believe in God. It???s just not for me.
Original verse by me.
A microcosm of my neighborhood
July 22, 2010
It would be easy to answer the question ???what do you use every day???? with the obvious answer of ???eyeglasses??? or ???computer??? or ???toilet.??? But a more un-obvious answer is this crosswalk at Cedar Avenue and what would be 5th Street if 5th Street went all the way through. And on either side of the crossing are bars that represent the diversity of the neighborhood.
You will recall from my post a couple of days ago I mentioned that the majority in the neighborhood is African immigrants. There are also some southeast Asians. But in this case by diversity, I???m talking about the white Americans in the area, which borders two different university campuses. We whites range from 20-something college students to aging nuts-and-love hippies. I fall in the middle of that spectrum. I spent many years in college but I am no longer 20-something or even close to it, and neither my parents nor I were ever hippies, though I do remember making daisy crowns as a child.
In the morning when I use the crosswalk, I get a minute or two to study the hippy and drunk neighborhood institution, Palmer???s Bar. Palmer???s is referred to, at times even lovingly, as a dive. I???ve never actually been inside. When I pass it in the morning on my way to work, I do occasionally see people making a beeline for the door. Whether they are employees or patrons, I couldn???t say, other than to note that I never seem to same people twice. Other than that one woman. But she did not appear to be on her way to work.
In the afternoon, I pass by Nomad World Pub. This place I have spent a few dollars in. They have a good beer list and, as I now recall, this is where I first saw Romantica, as they were the band-in-residence for a few Thursdays a couple of summers ago. This is where the college kids hang out and play bocci ball. This is the bar that hired in a giant screen tv to their parking lot for the important (read: USA and finals) World Cup matches. On summer nights when I have my windows open, I am quite able to hear the live music, because they leave their back door open. Also, they use to have an animated rabbit graphic on their web page. Unlike Palmer???s, I often see the same man hanging around the Nomad and I take him to be the owner.
Recently, the crosswalk was upgraded. It always had the lights and the button to trigger the right-of-way. But now it speaks. It says, ???Wait ??? ??? ??? wait ??? ??? ??? wait ??? ??? ?????? When you push the button for the walk light???which seems like it takes FOREVER to change???it then says in a reassuring male voice, ???Cedar Avenue. Walk light is on to cross . . . . . Cedar Avenue. Walk light is on to cross . . . . . ?????
Unless it is before 8:30am when traffic is heavier, I don???t usually push the button, I just jaywalk, or jaybike as it were. In the afternoon I???m on the side of the road I need, so I don???t use the right-of way (the Nomad-looking photo of the crossing was staged, I confess), though I do use the wheelchair ramp to the sidewalk, being on wheels myself. About?? half the time I have to excuse a pedestrian out of my way.
Yep, you never knew a crosswalk could be so interesting, did you?
Smile and the world smiles with you
July 20, 2010
We could all use more smiles in our lives. From a young age, I remember my mom sometimes saying, ???Smile and the world smiles with you.?????
Smiles are infectious.
In my daily goings out and about I have belatedly semi-embraced a philosophy that a friend of mine was mature and unselfish enough to embrace twenty-five years ago. He said that he couldn???t in good conscience pass by his fellow human beings on the street without making eye contact and acknowledging their existence. I don???t remember if he included a smile with that.
In recent times, perhaps since I moved to my new, scarier neighborhood four-and-a-half years ago, I have been more willing to make that eye contact. Maybe it???s simply a component of self-preservation. I believe that the nefarious types will be less likely to cause trouble if you acknowledge them and indicate that they don???t necessarily intimidate you. And if you give them a half-smile to boot, maybe you take even more power back.
Also, as a white, native, American, I am quite in the minority in this neighborhood which is populated largely by immigrants from eastern Africa, mostly Somalia. They tend to get a bad rap from whites like me who may not consider that, as usual, it???s a few bad apples who spoil it for everyone. I want to be friendly. When I make eye contact, smile, and perhaps say ???good morning,??? most of my neighborhood cohabitants respond with a surprised smile, then reply with their own pleased greeting. I like to think I???m doing my small part to foster good will in the neighborhood.
That eye contact and smile follows me downtown when I go to work. There I find people who are by and large like me, but the reaction is the same???slightly stunned and then, in kind. I don???t know, it just feels a little good.
I???m not looking for a pat on the back and I???m pretty sure I don???t want you to start talking to me. But I know I like having my existence acknowledged and figure you might feel the same way.
Smile and the world smiles with you.
Horoscope versus real life
June 10, 2010
Today I compared the predictions with real life. That I used the horoscope from The Onion should??give a clue as to my general attitude toward such things.
I am a Cancer. A moon child. That explains a lot.
I was originally going to use Yahoo???s horoscope because it???s right there on my homepage. I??looked both yesterday (in anticipation) and today (in practice). The daily predictions were thus:
???Friends in need aren’t anything new???you actually tend to attract them, and you don’t mind so??much. You send out subtle signals that let others know you’re the most trustworthy of friends. Right??now, in fact, those traits are amped up, so no matter who comes to you, even just for a quick hug,??you go above and beyond the call of duty. Don’t be surprised if you end up with a long-term friend.???
???You’re feeling especially chatty and friendly???which means you’re much more easily tempted than??usual to let a hot secret slide. If it’s your own and you don’t mind the world knowing, go for it???sharing a confidence can be a great way to bond. If it’s shared or someone else’s entirely, think??twice before you have at it. Why risk a current relationship to entice a new one????
Omigod, they???re almost true.??
Monday I learned that my downtown place where I work out is closing due to financial issues. I??was apparently one of only two or three members in whom the proprietress Pam confided extra??information. She was not merely trying to sell the business due to ???changes in personal??circumstances??? (the general notice to members) but because she is in arrears for rent and is being??evicted.
Yesterday, the first day of the horoscope, I shared with her that I had gone through personal??bankruptcy in 2004. That sort of opened the floodgates and I gathered that because of credit card??misuse due to na??vet??, she, too, is facing bankruptcy, though likely business rather than personal.??I???m usually the latest person working out, so there were no privacy concerns as we continued the??conversation after I was finished. I ended up giving her a hug that was appropriate but which??ended up being a little uncomfortably long. But she needed it, so that was okay. I don???t think we???ll??be friends after this chapter ends, but she???s been good to me in the fifteen months that I???ve been a??member.
Since Monday when I learned of the goings on, I had felt like I wanted to give Pam and Betty, the??other woman who I saw most often, parting mementos, but I had no idea what. What do you give??people who you see often and appreciate and maybe even feel affection for yet you don???t know too??intimately? When I got home last night, I spied the answer on my windowsill???two houseplant??babies that have been living in a jar for far too long that I hadn???t been in a hurry to pot because I??already have plenty.
Then I got all sappy and was thinking of the reasons why I???d give when I presented Pam and Betty??with the plants. You know, the clich??s like, now you???ll have the chance to experience a new??opportunity, this plant is a symbol of something new coming from something that???s ending, so on??and so forth. I wanted to say that they were simply small tokens of my gratitude and affection for a??healthy year and a quarter. But I said none of that, other than that I just wanted to do a little??something.
Today, I knew that Betty was opening so, not wishing to miss what might be my last opportunity to??see her, I left a message at my office saying I???d be a little late arriving because I had to make a stop??on the way in. I left both plants with Betty and she didn???t give much away, but I think she was??touched. When I got to to work, I told another Pam the whole story. While we weren???t exactly??bonding any more than we already have from working together for fifteen years, and there was??nothing at risk by my sharing one Pam???s story with the other Pam, it was interesting to note how??real life very loosely corresponded to the horoscope.
The story above is what I was going to relate for my comparison of horoscope versus real life.
Then I got sidetracked by the charm of The Onion‘s Scorpio horoscope for my friend Meghan: ???Everyone??wants to live forever, but in your case it would just mean more time being chased by an angry??swarm of bees.???
I found my own, for Cancer: ???The hounds of hell will be at your door this week, clawing furiously to??be let out and use the bathroom.??? At first I thought, that???s dumb. Then I realized that this week I am??working on revisions on a project for a client whose reasons for wanting the things they want I find??nearly impossible to understand, and how, because they???re a fairly new client, my boss instills the??utmost urgency in us for the things they need, like they???re going to pee their pants or something if??they don???t get it.
Spooky.
??
image??by??vampirebeth1
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